call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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