I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
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