Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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