and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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