she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
