No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize