very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
