I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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