the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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