how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
