Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize