Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
