Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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