Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
