Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
