Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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