Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize