It's a beautiful day for a hangover
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
