There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Hippo gnu deer
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize