i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
