And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
