I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
