i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
