My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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