She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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