Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
