You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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