Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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