Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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