So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
