hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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