hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Success! We fucked roommates!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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