I must be too annoying 4 u.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
you inspire me to be a worse person
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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