Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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