Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
