yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
