i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
