nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
