i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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