So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
