I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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