If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
