are you still at the devil's house?
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
