I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
