You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize