shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
