so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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