So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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