They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
