It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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