Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
