I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
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The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
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I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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