we have officially mastered the walk of shame
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
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I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
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Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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