And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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