Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
