It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
