it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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