I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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