forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
