i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize