i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
