if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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