they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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